Blemishes
blog of someone living in the world for 19 years. thoughts, emotions, feelings and everything in me that I wish to share :). hopeless romantic. i fall inlove with fictional characters more times i actually fell inlove with a human bieng. directioner. and i sincerely believe in magic. you can talk to me about anything. i can be a friend. :)
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(Source: pocahonntas, via hopefor-thehopeless)

Just let it be. You may as well. Everything moves in and out at its own time. You have no control. You never did, you never will.

Sad isn’t it? // R.R. (via missinyouiskillingme)

(via hopefor-thehopeless)

It’s like we never knew each other.

9 things to remember when you are 14  (via extrasad)

i still need this in college and im 19.

(via hopefor-thehopeless)

1. high school will drain you. it’s panic attacks in the hallway and crying in the bathroom and eating lunch in the back of the library because the cafeteria makes your heart beat too fast. It’s getting high and throwing up. you will learn a lot about death and how to treat your cuts. You will also learn what it’s like to get drunk and laugh at the stars and how to write poetry that makes the world hurt less. You will read books that you fall in love with. you will fall in love. you’ll get closer to your mother because you’ll need someone to help you with your math homework and teach you how to put on your makeup and wipe away your tears.

2. the first boy you fall in love with will break you. he’ll tell you he loves you and convince you to fuck him in the back of his parents beat up volvo and then he’ll tell all his friends what you taste like and stop calling you before you fall asleep. delete his number and throw away the stuffed bear he won you at the carnival three weeks before. your carpet will be stained with tears and vomit and liquor and you’ll fight with you dad a lot more than usual. you’ll spit up pieces of your heart for weeks. you’ll burn alive when you see him in the halls. you won’t always feel like you’re cracking and a few months later you’ll be falling asleep on the phone with someone else. let it hurt for a little while but don’t let it kill you. never let it kill you.

3. the girl you’ve been best friends with for 9 years will stop speaking to you. one night you’ll make plans with her and she’ll cancel at the last minute because she’s sick but you’ll see her updating her snapchat story with pictures of empty alcohol bottles and blurry eyes and the mean girls who never let you sit with them. try to forgive her. she’s going through all the bloody, broken teeth, black and blue filled nights like you are. everyone’s trying to survive so don’t be too hard on anyone. especially yourself.

4. your teacher will ask the class questions and you’ll know the answers but you’ll keep your shaky hand between your knees and keep your tongue glued to the top of your mouth. don’t bother. speak out. nothing bad will happen. so when your biology teachers calls on you to tell him about last nights assignment, don’t stare at the spinning ground and mumble through numb lips. you’re smarter than you think and nobody is looking at you anyway.

5. you’re not his baby girl. when he tries to kiss your neck and pull you onto his lap, get up and leave. you don’t have to go upstairs with him. you don’t have to sleep with him because he’s begging. it’s not your job to fuck around with boys who can’t remember your name. take care of yourself even when he’s calling you a tease and whispering just loud enough for you to hear.

6. go out. go to football games and sit on hard metal bleachers for hours and take shots that taste like bleach and hold hands with the cute boy from english class. go to that dumb party and don’t complain or stand in the corner. things are always moving. people are always falling in love and laughing and putting themselves back together. be part of it.

7. ask for help. you don’t have to let yourself rot. when you don’t know how to do something in math class ask your teacher to explain. when your heart falls out of your chest and shatters at your feet, ask your best friend to come over and watch bad movies with you until you both feel less dead. when the boy you’re convinced you love kisses someone else, ask your mother to help stop the bleeding. you’re not alone so stop acting like it. no more breakdowns at three in the morning locked in the bathroom screaming. your older sister is still awake. crawl into bed with her.

8. it all ends. high school doesn’t last forever and 6 years from now you’ll be whole again. you won’t remember the names of the boys who made you cry or the girls who fucked you over. you won’t remember the names of the teachers who made your cheeks turn red and tied your stomach in knots. you won’t remember the time you fell down the stairs in front of everyone. you won’t remember what it’s like to want to die. try to remember the times you laughed so hard you spit out your drink. try to remember the people who helped put you back together. try to remember the people who bled with you when things got messy, when they call you at 3 in the morning to ask how you’ve been, answer the phone.

9. don’t forget to breathe.

tennants-hair:

do you ever realize that your followers aren’t just a number

they’re real people with jobs and pets and possibly an annoying neighbor

like

you have real people who like you

wow

(via parlimint)

Kovie Biakolo, Falling In Love With Yourself (via feellng)

(via bexutiful-bliss)

Falling in love with yourself is as beautiful as any experience of love is. It’s learning to laugh at your awkward tendencies and smile at all your quirky habits. It’s learning to be grateful for the many sides you have – confident, crazy, shy, sexy, nerdy, angry, weird, and all the rest of them. It is realizing that you’re one of a kind and that you deserve to give the world the best person you can be. Falling in love with yourself is being happy in your life and knowing that in this one moment in time, you’re beautiful simply because you are you.

(via the-taintedtruth)

(via bentkaleidoscopes)

You are allowed to miss him. You are allowed to miss her. You’re only human and you can’t be expected to have it together every second of every day. Like when you find a bobby pin under your bed or catch just a whisper of his scent on your favourite t-shirt, you’re allowed to shut the door and not want to move from your bed for the rest of the night. Because life is hard and things are meant to be dwelled upon, whether it’s been two days, two months or even two years. It’s all still going to hurt because it mattered to you. The same way you hear a song from your childhood and still remember all the words, you’ll always remember her sleepy, confused look in the morning or his shirts hung up for work the next day. And you don’t have to pretend to be over it just because your parents might be worried or your friends are tired of hearing about it. You are allowed to cry through it. Fight it in stages. Take in that smell one last time and then wash it away. But only let it go once you’re ready and, before you do, know that your strength is not defined by the number of days it takes to remove them from your memory. Because fixing a broken heart is not like surgery. You can’t fall asleep without feeling a thing and then wake up and have no recollection of what has happened. You’re going to feel all of it, every single day, and every one of those days is going to hard. But once the pain starts to fade away, you’ll realise that your heart is like a garden, and you must remove the dead roses at the roots so that you can begin to see something new grow again.

Jenny Han, We’ll Always Have Summer  (via sexpansion)

(Source: sydneyrae, via shutup-tina)

I always believed that we would find our way back to each other every time. But this time it felt final. Like I would never see him again, or that when I did, it would be different - there would be a mountain between us. I knew it in my bones. This time was it. I had finally made my choice, and so had he. He let me go.
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